Liturgy And Recited Prayer (Hearing God pt 2)

The common Protestant objections: too ritualistic, no heart in it, no room for the Holy Spirit, salvation by works, is too much like Buddhism et al.

It is, I concede, completely logical to say that when Christ gave us the Lord's Prayer, it was meant as an outline, a basic guide to the things about which we should be praying. I agree with this, and have for a long time. We should have spontaneous prayers that apply to our needs and the needs of others. However, there is also something to be said for Psalm 119:97, "Oh how I love your law! It is my meditation all the day." Why does the psalmist meditate upon God's Law? Because by keeping his thoughts focused and silencing the "other self," he is able to let the totality of the Law become real in himself, and thus God's word nourishes his soul, straightening it to walk uprightly.

When emphasis is placed upon the thoughts of the believer, the believer's own feelings, emotions, then growth is stunted. Noise enters, because no one can keep his mind perfectly clear when not observing himself. It is like saying "don't think of an elephant." The first thing you think of, of course, without being in the position to diminish your thoughts by observing and dismissing them, is an elephant. Similarly, if one goes about the day thinking things like "I'm not going to lust" over and over, he has already surrendered his thoughts to this battle, instead of taking away the fight altogether, and by placing his spirit subordinate to the mind (and, inevitably, to the flesh), he has cut off his only possible communication with God and sets himself up to fail. (Damascene, Christ: The Eternal Tao).

The advantage of liturgy and recitation of prayer is as of yet unresolved. Mere recapitulation does not benefit the individual at all, of course; what is needed is the elevation of the spirit above the intellect and the flesh, and the submission of the spirit, in turn, to God. Keeping the spirit subdued prevents the man from truly communing with Christ; but once the elevation is accomplished, something needs to direct the soul where it ought to go.

Here is the advantage of such recitations. With the mind and flesh subdued, the spirit observes the thoughts and takes hold of that which it truly desires; and if one belongs to the Lord, the simple recitation of prayer and liturgy allows for one to continually redirect one's spirit toward God and the service and glorification of Him. These things do not "lose their meaning" because they are then not attached to the feelings, which fade, nor the thoughts, which become tiresome or boring. There is a completely new dimension which is ever renewed in Christ. It is no wonder that when in passing I ponder eternity I quiver in fear of thought of never ceasing. Yet my spirit rejoices to be in the Lord and wants to abide there forever.

Now, with the words, songs, etc already prescribed, there is no more need to continue to awkwardly search for the right words while praying, or to lead oneself in, as in the NIV, "babbling endlessly like the pagans." (Matthew 6:7), or as in the ESV, "heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do." One is then aware of, perhaps, how long one has been going, or what great Christian vocabulary one has used, or how easy it was to remember to pray for this or that, and pride sneaks in. There is no more need to contemplate what songs to play, what turns of phrase to use. Such care for variety is an appeal to the flesh and intellect, in any case.

Continually step outside thoughts and hear God. Step outside dependence upon thoughts and let your spirit grow and lead the mind and flesh in holiness and submission to the Lord.

The Other Me (Hearing God pt 1)

The first thing that comes to mind is Eckhart Tolle's speech on this subject, concerning the question "Who is this "myself" that I cannot live with?" I remember rejecting outright everything he said because of some of his views on Christ. However, now, a year or so later, I am starting reconsider this point. It came at a moment that was not even of terrible importance, but it opened my eyes to it nonetheless. As you may have read in earlier blogs, I have a habit of getting a large pizza at least once a week and eating the whole thing in one sitting. As I was on my way back to my apartment from a walk on Saturday, I was planning some things out. One resolution I made was (for financial as well as health reasons) not to get a pizza after church the next day, but instead to eat something I already had at home, most likely soup. Immediately I thought back to other times where I would make such resolutions, but then when the time came to enact them, I didn't want to and went against it.

Why? If I am, at this point, intending to go through with something, why is it that I am suddenly wishing something else at another time? It seems, indeed, that Mr. Tolle has a point; there seem to be multiple entities at work, and these can often be in conflict. "We are not our thoughts." In a book I am slowly getting through, Christ, The Eternal Tao, the author describes the same situation. The spirit, the mind, and the flesh are all at work, and each has its own will. It is the place of the mind and the flesh to be subservient to the spirit, and the spirit to be subservient to God. What hinders many of us from communion with God is that we don't understand how this works, or the need for it, and may be trying, as is natural to people who have grown up in a society based on the glorification of rational thought, to simply intuit our way to communion with God, to, as Winnie-the-Pooh would say, think think think our way through faith. The answer is far more complicated, and the answer is far simpler. The answer begins with self-observation, stepping back more and more often to observe one's own thoughts and emotions. By doing this we can hold on to the thoughts which are godly and destroy the thoughts that are not.

Stay tuned.

Edu-babble and Preparation for Teaching.

This week graduate students at Bowling Green State University are attending a program called "GradSTEP" (Graduate Student Enhancement Program). It is supposed to prepare us for grad school and, in the case of some including myself, to be teaching or research assistants. Today's sessions (at least, the ones attended by students from all departments) were entitled "Welcome to BGSU's Integrative Learning Community" and "Undergraduate Education in Action." Right off the bat, Eric, Steven (both fellow teaching assistants in the math department), and I figured that these would consist mostly of regurgitated edu-babble. For those unfamiliar with the term, this simply means vague and lofty words and phrases used to describe the college's "strategic planning" for the future of undergraduate education.

We were quite correct. The goals and implementation of strategies for the goals of the school still remain quite unclear after 2 hours of being stuffed down our throats. We did manage to garnish a few facts: apparently they expect us to do everything we can to make sure students don't fail (including referrals to various university agencies such as the Counseling Center) and that the school wishes to "integrate things learned outside the classroom to what is learned inside the classroom." Whatever that means. In one session we analysed two "scenarios" in which students were struggling with their studies. None of us three had any progressive solutions that these people were looking for; we were simply all for trying to contact the student about the issue but not pressing any further if the student proves illusive or averse to help. Eric did offer the suggestion of speaking to a student's advisor to see if the class is necessary for the degree, since the student obviously does not want to be there. I did agree with this idea.

During the second session part of our task was to break into groups of 3-5 and discuss how, as teaching assistants, we could enact the goals of the school in our lecture and lab times. Granted, we should have been a little more respectful to the speakers, but it was very tempting to quietly remark to one another on the more ridiculous points made before the discussion was assigned. we were therefore "proxied," where one of the leaders came and stood near us as we "discussed" our ideas for enacting the school's goals, which mostly amounted to "I will teach math." Therefore we were, of course, called on to share our ideas later on. I was considering speaking on our behalf against some of the silly hand-holding and vague strategies posited by various other groups, but Steven was first to stand and managed to BS his way through explaining how we could do as much as we could as math teaching assistants. I was impressed. We were all amused, also, at the boos that came when he first mentioned that we were a "cluster of math majors" and the dirty looks that ensued when he declared math to be "meta-knowledge" (which is, of course, true; it's very difficult to find a discipline that does not have some basis in mathematics). Apparently we're just heartless math teachers who don't care about enriching the learning experience of students; we want to give you the information and get you out of the way so we can go back to research and whatever else it is we do. My word...

After coming to a common consensus that "One major reason the undergraduate program as a whole here sucks is because it's run by naive, idealistic women and men with no spines" (my words), we went to a short demonstration in the math building (not terribly interesting but definitely preferrable to the aforementioned activities) and then got to leave. I got my office keys, finally, and checked it out. We'll have to get a refrigerator, but otherwise it's pretty nice. I'll be sharing it with Steven and another math TA named Keith. Now I'm on to preparing syllabi, first-day exercises, MyMathLab registration (an online program that will be used as homework), and the Blackboard (a tool in each student's personal web portal provided by the school) pages for my two sections of College Algebra I. It's actually a fun challenge, though time-consuming and somewhat exhausting.

Where there is pride, there is fear.

I think the title says it all. Obviously, fear does not imply pride, as rational fears, such as that which arises when one or one's relations or friends are in danger, are not prideful in any sense. I refer to an inhibiting fear, an unhealthy, irrational fear that keeps us from realising our potential. There is fear of rejection, fear of failure. These we are all aware of, I'm sure. But I challenge everyone to look inside themselves and discover the fear of being exposed, fear of weakness, fear of losing control. Why do so many of us remain trapped in our habits and addictions, even when we know them to be detrimental? Why do we hide our wrongs, our faults, from those we know just wish to help us overcome them? I venture to say that it is because our pride wants us to be the one to defeat these things. Pride does not want to ask others for help, and thus lose control of the situation. Is it not easy to see, then, the benefit of surrender? By yielding our control to the help of God and others that love us, we have freed ourselves from the insidious, destructive grip of pride and addiction.

Vikarbyrgi Progress and the Heart Growing Fonder...

This last week Ethan and I were able to take another step toward recording and publishing Vikarbyrgi's music. We recorded a demo version of the song called "An End To Duality." From it we were able to figure out what elements of the sound and process we needed to fix. It was a fun few days, and not without laughs, particularly because of our setup. For example, the bass drum microphone was set on top of a dinosaur puzzle box, which was then placed on top of an old egg carton. Another microphone was taped and hanging from the ceiling. All recording was done, of course, using a laptop and smalll interface (which we were able to purchase, thanks to Ethan's friend Alex, for 1/3 of the regular price).

We feel that we are now ready to begin recording the album. After the demo track was finally mixed, we were in the car and noticed that on other black metal records, the drum sounds were not always perfect either: sometimes the bass and snare were very hard to hear, which is the case with ours. Hopefully, though, this issue is resolved. Ethan will now be recording drum and keyboard tracks until I am able to return to Fort Wayne. Our greatest hope in all of this, of course, is that God would be glorified through our efforts.

Now on to my other recent thoughts...it is indeed true, absence is making my heart grow indeed fonder of Haley's presence. Though I don't know that would have, were we not separated for this time, I know that because of this prolonged absence I will never take her presence for granted. When I see her, it feels like a great weight is lifted from my chest. I have 4 days from today until I get to see her. After that, the times apart will continue to increase. I suppose I shall be that much happier to see her each time.

A Better Half

As you probably guessed from the title, I now have a girlfriend. It's been slightly over a month now, and it's been one of the best months of my life. We have so far been perfect for each other. We make one another want to do greater things, be a greater person.

The great thing about these things is that they are nothing like what you anticipated. There is so much to experience that one does not enough realise was out there. Now I see what is so special about it.

Of course, now, moving to Ohio from Texas, we are having to do the "long-distance" thing, one month and one day after entering our relationship. It's going to be a challenge. Now's the time when we must truly rely on God, more than ever.

Voice

The concept of voice is fascinating. It's unique. It's multidimensional. There are many ways to manipulate one's voice: tone, inflection, pitch, type. And even when these are matching between people, there is something underneath that still distinguishes the two, more so to the familiar ear. There are even differences in the male and female voice, to those who listen closely...it is possible, in almost all cases, to tell when a man or woman is speaking or singing, even if the pitch is shifted higher or lower. I at least find it funny when a woman says she "sounds like a man" just because a cold has her at the bottom of her register.

Then there is also the idea of voice within other forms of communication. Visual art, music, literature, reporting, debate...everyone has their own style. And in the same way that multiple people can recognise and mimic each others' uses of voice (in the sense of speaking) as they have more contact, their voices within composition may also converge as they continue to work together. Vikarbyrgi will prove to be such an instance; Ethan and I are slowly creating material that sounds more and more similar to something that the other would compose, thus allowing for much more ease of collaboration.

Stepping into the spiritual realm for a second...Jesus says that "my sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." As one has more contact with Christ, it is easier to distinguish His voice from that of an imposter.

Unfortunately I have no moral or clever tie-off for this weblog. I haven't done this in a while, so perhaps I'm a little rusty. I'll explain in my next blog where I've been...until then, God bless.