Show me the money

This is one of those things that has come in stages, but that's no surprise, because rarely does otherwise. The earliest point at which I believe I became conscience of it would be last April, or so. I was praying, and suddenly found myself making an all-too-familiar appeal: "Lord, I know she's out there somewhere. Please show her to me."

Of course, "she" is whoever I will (hopefully) end up marrying someday. At this point I was struggling very heavily (and it occasionally hits me still) with being lonely.

But something hit me in the face right then and I stopped, dazed. I then took a deep breath and asked "Make me who she will need me to be."

That right there opened a can of worms, of course, and has led to a whole new walk of life ever since. It doesn't just apply to being a husband; I ask to be the best friend, employee, co-worker, classmate, student, bandmate, son, brother, and even father one day. I feel this is the whole point of faith: not approaching God's will wanting to be sure that we'll be rewarded (here one may make the analogy to the scene from Jerry McGuire), but instead simply going on and receiving a whole new perspective. Hopefully it continues; the possibilities are scary and exciting at the same time.